It has been ages since The Maharaja of the moolah, The Hearthrob of the young and old alike ,The Champion of the downtrodden etc....(well to be honest i m running out of titles to confer on him...) came out with a movie (well 2 weeks to be precise).Here our reporters caught up with him inspite of his breathtakingly tight schedule,on the eve of his latest release (well if u are searching for the title ,breathe again is it really relevant to the story huh??).Here's a brief excerpt from the exclusive we struck up with him.
Reporter: hello sir, how u been doing??
Star : ya, m fine dude..
R: so tell us abt ur new movie sir?
S: this is an out an out action movie ,i m doing a different role,lot of scope and efforts have been put into this movie.
R:wat's so spl abt the movie and wat efforts??
S:well u get to see me don a different role from my earlier ones and i have worked on physique.
R: ok.So can u tell something about the story (expecting the answer.)??
S:Oh no i have been strictly instructed by the director not to speak about it..But i can assure my fans they can expect a cracker at the box office.
R:Ok sir,do u have any message for ur fans ?
S : Well i'ld like to thank them,if not for them i wont be what i am.well i am running late for the shooting of next movie.so catcha later.
R:okay good luck sir.hope ur film really lights up "the Crackers" at the box-office.(sliently introspecting if the cracker is a bomb).
2 days later..Movie is released.After sitting through the movie for 3 hours,our reporter got down to rate the movie
TITLE: totally irrelevant to the rest of the movie,hence we are refraining from publishing..
DIRECTOR : a wannabe Martin Scorcese/Mani Ratnam
CAST: a huge ensemble of heavyweight cast ( we are not metaphorical here)including our "Messiah of the Masses".
GENRE: forgot the rules of taxonomy.
PLOT/SYNOPSIS: read on if u are not weak-hearted.The opening scene to this grand-saga has our Hero taking part in a bike race.Sounds familiar huh.Well only to realise that half-way into the race the rear tire is punctured.Hero shows a lot of courage and pulls on with the race and manages to win also( well,Someone did a similar thing in a Car race recently).Hero in his swaggering gait climbs up the podium ,clinches the trophy and flashes thumbs-up sign.Well its time for the hero introduction song.The next scene opens out in a mechanic shed and the hero is seen spending a gala time with his sidekicks.Until a pretty lass crosses the road . There's a brief eye-contact and the next thing we know's a solo dream song . Three scenes later,we get to see the hero propose to the heroine by shouting from atop the LIC building,and the next thing we know is a mind-blowing sequence of dance steps( even Michael Jackson cant dance with 2 left feet..) on Swiss Alps .The background score in worth mentioning here(my drilling machine's not match).The screenplay then meanders and slithers more efficiently than any reptile , you end up seeing the heroine in the baddie's lair just before the intermission.
The second half opens with the hero getting enraged,with the kidnap of the heroine ,simulateneously we witness an item number to entertain the baddie(rather a baldie) ,the lyrics of which would go down well with the front-benches. The hero starts plotting for revenge and what better way other than working on a six-pac abs.A song to depict the transformation.The pumped up hero storms into the hideout of the villains single-handedly and starts bashing up the goons.In the process ,he ends up being caught and tied to a post.The villains try to electrocute him with the help of a transformer,but no avail.The transformer goes up in flames, and a punch dialogue here.The frightened baddies, drag the heroine out with them and flee in a goods-train.The unrelenting hero pursues in a motorbike( well we dont know if there's air in the tyres or petrol in the tank).There's a sudden break in the road as the train comes to a bridge.The hero makes a calculated move , makes a 50m high/long jump and lands on the train-top unscathed.( Well ,What was the last Olympic Record? ).More fight ensures and the villain is down on his knees before the hero.Hero invokes patriotism and preaches mother sentiments for next ten minutes which reforms the baddie and the climax shows the hero marrying the heroine in a temple.Well full kudos to the director for giving us such an entertaining film which kept us on the edge of our seats for over two and half hours( yeah that's right, trying to find out which movie it was inspired from).
Reporter: hello sir, how u been doing??
Star : ya, m fine dude..
R: so tell us abt ur new movie sir?
S: this is an out an out action movie ,i m doing a different role,lot of scope and efforts have been put into this movie.
R:wat's so spl abt the movie and wat efforts??
S:well u get to see me don a different role from my earlier ones and i have worked on physique.
R: ok.So can u tell something about the story (expecting the answer.)??
S:Oh no i have been strictly instructed by the director not to speak about it..But i can assure my fans they can expect a cracker at the box office.
R:Ok sir,do u have any message for ur fans ?
S : Well i'ld like to thank them,if not for them i wont be what i am.well i am running late for the shooting of next movie.so catcha later.
R:okay good luck sir.hope ur film really lights up "the Crackers" at the box-office.(sliently introspecting if the cracker is a bomb).
2 days later..Movie is released.After sitting through the movie for 3 hours,our reporter got down to rate the movie
TITLE: totally irrelevant to the rest of the movie,hence we are refraining from publishing..
DIRECTOR : a wannabe Martin Scorcese/Mani Ratnam
CAST: a huge ensemble of heavyweight cast ( we are not metaphorical here)including our "Messiah of the Masses".
GENRE: forgot the rules of taxonomy.
PLOT/SYNOPSIS: read on if u are not weak-hearted.The opening scene to this grand-saga has our Hero taking part in a bike race.Sounds familiar huh.Well only to realise that half-way into the race the rear tire is punctured.Hero shows a lot of courage and pulls on with the race and manages to win also( well,Someone did a similar thing in a Car race recently).Hero in his swaggering gait climbs up the podium ,clinches the trophy and flashes thumbs-up sign.Well its time for the hero introduction song.The next scene opens out in a mechanic shed and the hero is seen spending a gala time with his sidekicks.Until a pretty lass crosses the road . There's a brief eye-contact and the next thing we know's a solo dream song . Three scenes later,we get to see the hero propose to the heroine by shouting from atop the LIC building,and the next thing we know is a mind-blowing sequence of dance steps( even Michael Jackson cant dance with 2 left feet..) on Swiss Alps .The background score in worth mentioning here(my drilling machine's not match).The screenplay then meanders and slithers more efficiently than any reptile , you end up seeing the heroine in the baddie's lair just before the intermission.
The second half opens with the hero getting enraged,with the kidnap of the heroine ,simulateneously we witness an item number to entertain the baddie(rather a baldie) ,the lyrics of which would go down well with the front-benches. The hero starts plotting for revenge and what better way other than working on a six-pac abs.A song to depict the transformation.The pumped up hero storms into the hideout of the villains single-handedly and starts bashing up the goons.In the process ,he ends up being caught and tied to a post.The villains try to electrocute him with the help of a transformer,but no avail.The transformer goes up in flames, and a punch dialogue here.The frightened baddies, drag the heroine out with them and flee in a goods-train.The unrelenting hero pursues in a motorbike( well we dont know if there's air in the tyres or petrol in the tank).There's a sudden break in the road as the train comes to a bridge.The hero makes a calculated move , makes a 50m high/long jump and lands on the train-top unscathed.( Well ,What was the last Olympic Record? ).More fight ensures and the villain is down on his knees before the hero.Hero invokes patriotism and preaches mother sentiments for next ten minutes which reforms the baddie and the climax shows the hero marrying the heroine in a temple.Well full kudos to the director for giving us such an entertaining film which kept us on the edge of our seats for over two and half hours( yeah that's right, trying to find out which movie it was inspired from).
